Free From LoveI cannot tell if my feelings were real or fake,But in darkest nights they kept me awake,“Leave me alone, for heaven’s sake”,I begged, not knowing what was at stake. Reality is something that changes a heart,Even if the love inside me was strongTime comes and it has to fall apart,You know that nothing with this wrong. You held me captive with your beauty,But now I am free from this curse,And from life’s hardest duties,Things won’t get from bad to worse. More than a year lasted this story,I penned it down almost every day,But now about you I don’t even worry,To you I have nothing to say.
MistakeI forgot her and emptiness came back,My life it once again painted black!Like a dead butterfly by winds I’m blown,I'm on the same path, but I’m alone. She used to be my magic spark,Alas, she’s gone and now it’s dark.She guided me through toughest times,When I was not worth a few dimes. Yes, she was an just an image in my heart,The real her I knew I would not meet,So I broke my dreams apartAnd stopped my heart’s ferocious beat.Do not decline the gift from god above,Do not decline the sacred love!It is not a curse! Do not make my mistake,You do not know what is at stake.
Sudden ReturnYou have returned at last, my muse,Where have you been for all this time?Why to talk do you refuse?Why don’t you listen to my rhymes? Dark nights no longer helped my pen,And you had vanished for no reason.What should I have done then?How can I write, while feeling treason? You leave all questions unanswered,My heart you burned like no one does.You pierce my soul with thousands lancers,I do not what is the cause! Suddenly you came and suddenly you are gone,What is the meaning of this story?Why did you leave me all alone,In times of need, in times of worry?
Love is Gone1Stay behind; you are in my past,Do not try a spell on me cast!To the future I’m moving fast,And some in my memory don’t last.It was hard to forget you though,But I said to my heart “NO, NO, NO, NO!” Refrain: The stupid cupid grabs his gun,He shoots and thinks its fun.I love, but despised by everyone, everyone 2You never, never noticed me,But I always, always loved ye.To forget you aimed my heart,But this task for it was too hard. Refrain.3 I feel an Earthquake; it is my heart’s beat,I remember when once it was sweet.Now to ashes turned the love I had for you, for you. Refrain
EscapeBranches fly,Smack, scratch my faceLost in green,Overwhelmed in joy. But I fear.Master hears,Leaves crushing, slave panting,Sets the dogs on me,I hear the barking, growling,In the distance,Drawing nearer every second. Tangled in thorns,Dog catches me, bites,I scream,More dogs, and then,Master. Pale and white against brown trees.Not pure white, though,Dirty and soiled white. Whip laughs,Cackling,Master, he stays silent.Silent, but snickering,No words, though,He lets Whip do the talking.
Doors To DestinyMy heart beats, but my mind is stronger,I am now free; I am not her captive any longer.With battle scars from days of despair,When life to me was unfair,I travel the realms that I once created,Some still stand, some already faded. Suddenly I find myself near a ticking clock,By time doors to my destiny are locked.Behind them I hear laughs and cries,The path to the future is full lies.Maybe my muse for me looking,And once again my pen will write,So I could again see the light!Or an appointment with misery I am booking. I am trapped in darkness, though I feel content,Nothing in this life can me now bend!I will go straight without any fear,Though I know no one is near.
Captured HeartsLike butterflies on a spider web we are left to die,Because she holds our captured hearts,Every second she makes us cry,She likes to break them all apart! We burn from despair and grief.We lose in life our belief,Though we try to break the seal,To make our fake dream real! How from this trap can we break free?This duty is not on you or me!It all depends on our muse,But you know she will refuse. From East to West we came together,Under cold and rainy weather,We are cursed by her looks,Which no one can show in thousand books. I broke the curse, but it returned,From hell to heaven my life it turned!Though she trapped me in a cage,“Success” is the play on my stage!
Farewell LoveI am standing in a field full of dying flowers.I heard that once they used to bloomAnd picked up by many lovers,Until one day they met their doom. Whispers from my past haunt me,I followed them to this forsaken land,Grief and despair instantly found meAnd buried my dreams under endless sands. Farewell, love, we had good times together.You made my pen lighter than a feather,Yes, you were unanswered and brought pain,You saved me from the burning sun and heavy rain. One day I opened my eyes and my muse was gone,Again in this World I am left alone!Without aims and full of doubts I wander around,Searching for something that cannot be found:A blooming flower…
I See Her...I see her up in the skiesAnd I am lost in her blue eyes,But suddenly she disappears.No one in the World my cry hears!I see her near a large stone gate,It shuts before me for no reason.There is nothing to do, it is fate.It’s full of lies and filled with treason. I see her walking in the park,I approach her and everything goes dark!Ah, I am afraid of this the most: Even in my dreams she is a ghost. I see her once, I see her twice...No matter how my heart triesHer image always from it flies,And no poems I can write!
Monster of CircumstancesMy poetry is getting old,Because the World I live in is gray and cold,To paint it no one in this land is bold,No prophesies or legends about such people told. Just looking around the ugly post-soviet city,The reason why my poetry is not very pretty.When I gaze at it I am filled with disgust and pity. Sadness and despair here I learn,Why do I need from life this degree to earn?Why do I need to know how to hate?I already know, alas it is too late! I lost my love, I lost my sanity,I want to destroy! Where is my humanity?It is all consumed by evil and vanity.My reflection on the mirror is just a fake gimmick,The monster inside me tries a person to mimic.I am alone though, no one is helping me understand,No one is willing to give me a hand. When I fell for her, I was a little enlightened,But now by the darkness I am blighted.My identity piece by piece I have to collect,But I know, even that I will neglect.
Impossible Crush“Forget your heart, from your feelings get away”,That is what my mind used to say.But everything can change in one day,And its effects can forever stay. How did I even fall in love?Was I punished by the God above?No one has told me the complete truth,But I just know that I am wasting my youth. She is never going to see me from far away,Even if she does, she is going to turn away.She will laugh if she reads my real name,I am surrounded by darkness, she is surrounded by fame. To my dreams I said goodbye from the first time,But they refuse to leave; they say it is a crime.Alas, I get farther from every strike of the clock,Because in this land I am under lock!
WeakWhen I write I send my words to mid air,My soul God can never again spare,Because I am useless, I am drowning in despair,And I cannot fight everything that is unfair. Just watching the rainy sky does not change our lives,Just wandering around the World brings no satisfaction,And I am afraid to take the slightest action,Because I know that you will send me away. No matter how I try to write you a letter,My scribbles are not worthy of your eyes,Alas, I cannot make them better,That’s why from you they are disguised. After everyone had from me their vengeance,Now came fate’s turn to make the final strike.Do not yield, my love, fight for your independence,Before you get in your heart a spike.
Facing Reality“Why do you need fame? Is it the money or is it the power you want?”“ Love is the only thing I desire. I want to be near her”.“Love? Ha-ha-ha! You are a fool to think that love can take you to the top”.“I believe that one day we will meet each other, the only thing I need is recognition”.“Look, your time is running out, you have not achieved anything significant and there are a lot of people that have better chances than you do. Give up on the idea and live your miserable life”.“My writings will save me. I believe I will achieve my goals”.“If you think your worthless pieces will get you somewhere and will change your life, then you are out of your mind. Look at your writings! Just look at them! No one will read them, no one I tell you. Have you forgotten the time when they were denied by literary magazines? Aren’t you tired of seeing “We regretfully inform you…” and so on
ExistenceOur story had ended before it could start,In your World I am not present, but you took my heart.It is impossible, it’s not even hard, to meet for us one bright day. I doubt that I could find to your eyes a way. Just to exist for you what would I not give!Alas, my destiny on my every step deceives.So many twists, so many turns,But an endless fire inside me burns: One year ago in times of sorrow,When I did not see any signs of tomorrow,You came along and wrecked the past,Before your beauty it could not last,With your help I forgot it fast,What powerful spells you can cast! That’s why I value you more than my life,I wish you would always thrive.
Strange FriendshipNever my soul you befriended,Because you always me offended,Though I kept and keep our friendship secure,This is an illness for which I cannot find a cure. Many mistakes I made, many troubles I got in to,My dear friend, it was all for you.I took the blame for your deeds,I had done everything to meet your needs. In times when I covered you I almost got busted,Good thing that my words everyone trusted.I have never heard a “thank you” in return,But know that against you I will not turn. Though my heart was not meant for you,In my mind for no reason I loved you.It will be a secret that I’ll forever keep,Through these moments of my life I am going to leap. You are a girl with a future that is lost,I look at you and see that you are a ghost.You had your chances, now they are gone.Saving you is my mission and alas, it is undone!
A Poet's FallA dying spirit of a poet can never again resurrect,If his dreams and feelings are treated with neglect.For the love of his life his battle will never stop,Even if his pen he forever dropped. He will see the darkest hours,When the lighting strikes and drains his powers.His small victories will no longer cheer him,Because she never will be near him. And I watch him from the side:He is hopeless and taken by despair,I know to madness he will glide,But from the start I’ve never cared. His time is slowly running out,But he is not struggling at all,He accepted fate without doubt,And now with pride he awaits his greatest fall. He knows that he’s a goner,Though he does not call for help.Alas, I am along with him dishonored,Because I see him as myself!
Understanding PainWhen everyone chanted your name that dayI understood that to your heart I had no way.You do not want stop by and read the poems I wrote,You are famous; you do not recognize my existence.My writings are obscure; they are used to clear a dry throat,But I continue against all forces my resistance.I wish someday you would understand this pain.You stabbed me with your charming looks,I can no longer live with the wound from your grace,The love that hit me that day you cannot find in any books!Only God can your name from my life erase! If one day you will this cursed piece read,Know that I still for you burn,I know you my love will never need,But who knows, destiny can turn.
Fake WonderlandA place where you want to breathe,But you cannot get enough air.A place that you want to leave,But you can’t, you are in despair. Freedom is something I wanted long ago.They used to tie me up with a rope.I am packing and now I am ready to go,To rebuild, to change it all there is no hope. In lies we have to swim every day,To love we are not allowed anymore.Anything you want you are not able to say,They throw you in a room and lock the door. A fake wonderland that no one can escape,If your body is gone, your soul will stay.The truth they can no longer shape,They want to throw it to the sea away! You freed me from this chain,Now my soul can for a while rest.I want to love you, but I am insane:To alter this realm I try my best!
Last PagesIn my manuscript where I wrote my pieces,Its final pages to my pen releases.With lies about love it is full,Reading it sometimes gets dull. Her name all over the pages is scattered,I remember the time when my heart it flattered,Now I look at it and burn from despair,I am hopeless, I am not treated fair. In times of darkness she shed light,But now again I am struck by the night.What means to smile I forgot,By a bullet called reality I was shot.
My Path to MadnessI broke my dreams, all over they are scattered!With their presence no one they have ever flattered.Life is something given to us without our permission,I have never understood on this planet my mission.I remember the time when I was burning with ambition,But I failed and dropped out from all competitions.I wish no one was born on that February day in 1997,Maybe my life would have been close to heaven,I want to rewind the clock back to the dark 2011.Yes, there were hard times, but at least love did not burn me,Against my well-being it did not turn me.She is tattooed on my mind by cupid himself,Because of her slowly I am losing myself.The end really came for me that winter in 2012!Yes, she did help me come out of an old shelf,But what was next she never told me,I am facing destiny with no one to hold me.I am just a soul wandering in empty space,I cannot see the way I am going; I am blinded by her grace.I am guided by the illusions of her face.This is called madness an
Uncertainty In LifeWhen will sadness come to say goodbye?I am gloomy, I do not know why!I do not have any hints about my fate,I want to know before it is too late. I do not know if the truth is in my mind or heart,Sometimes I feel that everything falls apart.The World around me changes so fast.I cannot catch up, I think I won’t last. What is going no one can tell me,The word “life” no one can spell me!I am trapped in an eternal puzzle,Thoughts try my sanity to guzzle. When love came I though all questions died,Though time showed that to me it lied.Nothing is certain in my actions,I rebelled against all factions.
Tricky VisionsI played a song we know on a piano once.I imagined her standing beside me then.Her blue eyes shot me like two deadly guns,I was lost in my mind’s endless fen. Familiar sounds turned foreign and magic,When you are in love this is the deal.Alas, I knew that this is tragic:The World I dreamed of was not real. I understood and the music stopped,In despair I fell for a known reason.From my spirit this vision my heart robbed!Once again has come a dark season!
IfIn a World where our dreams come true,It is a place for me and you,But one thing is for sure,It is in our minds and we cannot find a cure. We have something called imagination,“If” is a word of its creation!We see, we feel the land that we desire,But it is not real: our minds are liars. Maybe, my love, one day we’ll meet,If on the same path stand our feet.Destiny all reasons can abide,From it no mortal being can hide! Again my soul sings songs from far away,I feel that I won’t see the day,Which I awaited for this long,To bear this pain I am not strong.
Sta.sh
